Listen for the rhythm.

Anxiety. It really has plagued me most of my life and always paralyzes my forward progress. Faith. It really would alleviate the anxiety disease, but it eludes me somehow . . . But my new year's resolution is to move forward while staying centered. To not allow anxiety to get the best of me. I know this is what my resolution is supposed to be. I heard it directly from God.

A few weeks back, I was sitting on the beautiful white sands of Molochai, Hawaii, wanting a spiritual experience but only experiencing irritation. I wanted to hear from God but all I could hear was wind and all I could feel was the sting of the sand, broken down bits of coral really - like gravel, blowing against my skin. It hurt and it was ruining the moment.

But then I discerned the rhythmic lapping of the waves through the rushing, noisy wind. They rolled onto shore with an accuracy of intervals, constantly. I focused on their rhythm and soon forgot the irritation of the wind. God seemed to say, "Know that I am present with the wind. It may blow fiercely, but I will be your constant."

So I returned to reality with new resolve to listen for God when the wind begins to blow fiercely. But it wasn't long before the wind began to rush again. Feelings of anxiety stirred up in me regarding my job. I wish I could say that I sat still, calmly, while the irritations blew past me, focusing on the constancy of God. Instead, I moved my beach chair out of the wind and here I sit inside, in front of my computer, temporarily out of harms way, jobless.

When I resigned from my job, I began a search on the internet for possibilities of what to do next. Turns out reinvention is the new buzzword for an older woman who wants a job satisfaction makeover. The question of someone who wants to reinvent themselves is this: "What do you really want to do with the next 20 years of your life?" And more importantly for me will be, how can I become more successful at listening for the rhythm when the wind is so noisy?